“I’m an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It’s fair!” -The Joker in The Dark Knight
They say that all is fair in Love and War… which you could also logically translate to Love and Chaos. But about in Love and Work?
Almost exactly one year ago, I met the love of my life at the same time that I met the perfect work partner who shared my vision for a new breed of action films. Today, a year later, we are putting the final touches on our first film Death Grip, and developing the next few projects for our new director-producer banner.
But while experiencing such incredible career progress, I’ve simultaneously had to face the complications of mixing business with pleasure. So this year, I’ve focused one of my resolutions on learning how to trust and build a true partnership, both of the heart and the mind – how to develop a common vision for the future with someone that will keep us going strong and working strong.
We have all had our share of unhealthy relationships and experiences that left a bad taste in our mouth. I’ve had walls up for so long, that I’m now finding them particularly difficult to let down for someone I’ve found I actually want to let in. But it is possible to learn to forgive the patterns of your past & accept the new challenges of building a lasting & loving partnership with someone – and the process of doing this is not much different from learning to overcome the unhealthy patterns in any other area of your life.
Armed with that knowledge, you can then move on to the stage of simplification, filtering down all your issues and obstacles to the core problem that you must overcome. It’s often more simple than it seems. For my situation, I could envision this love-work challenge to be quite complicated. But it’s really a lot simpler than I feared — because both are a kind of partnership, and if built together at the same time, they can actually help strengthen, rather than impede, each other.
The next step is to take what you’ve learned and put it into action – build a game plan from what you’ve learned that will energize you forward into a new and better partnership. For me, this action plan involves a little bit of boundary setting with a lot of open two-way communication, and a very robust To Do list tracker. But the important thing is we set our goals and game plan together, my partner and I, and are keeping each other in check and on track every step of the way. And remember, the solution is often much simpler than you think.
So no matter what kind of partnership is giving you trouble, or who in your life you are struggling with, the most important thing is that you work together to create the solution that will improve and empower you both. Our Chaos is only as strong as we let it be, and likewise only as disabling. So take these simple steps side-by-side, and see where that can lead you both.
I’m certainly not there yet, and it may take a while for me to reach that goal. But at least I’m on the road with the man I love and love to work with. So I know I will enjoy the journey as much as I know I will enjoy the destination.
Best of luck to all you fellow one-half-of-amazing-partnerships out there. I hope you too can find a solid road to travel together, and I truly hope that anything I’ve shared here can help you in shaping that journey.